


Tired Dad Syndrome

by arrafrost



Series: This Spideyfam Has Two Dads [1]
Category: Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Family Bonding, Found Family, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-25 19:22:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16666765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arrafrost/pseuds/arrafrost
Summary: Peter Parker, the tired old Spider-Man of Into the Spider Verse, has found himself in the unexpected position of Spider-Dad with the rest of the multiverse Spider-People and is definitely in denial about it (no matter how much Wade Wilson is clearly the other dad of this found family dynamic).





	Tired Dad Syndrome

**Author's Note:**

> Please note this fic was written before the movie release.

“Did you make the kids lunch?” Wade asks, slapping Peter’s ass as he walks by the counter. He’s shirtless, as usual in the morning now that Wade had been officially convinced that no one in the house was grossed out by his scarred skin. The man didn’t talk about it often, but they all knew he had been self-conscious. So Peter actively made himself and the rest of the spiders help Wade feel more at ease around them. 

Peter rolls his eyes. “They’re not our kids,” he says, but he lifts the brown paper bags onto the counter all the same. It wasn’t that he was their dad, or that Wade was their other dad, it’s just that the other spiders often forgot about eating regular meals because they were young and headstrong and constantly challenging each other to catch more bad guys than the other. So this way, they remembered to eat real food and not just swing through a McDonald’s drive-thru (which they shouldn’t be doing as spider-people). 

“Uh huh, whatever you say Daddy-o.”

Peter gives him a cold, blank stare and dares him to start that nonsense again. Wade decides he’s going to live that morning (or at least get pancakes out of Peter) because he holds up his hands in mock defeat and pours them both glasses of orange juice.

“Oh sweet! Bagged lunch! Thanks Pops!“ Gwen cheers as she runs into the kitchen, snatching a bag for herself and one for Miles who she would be meeting at Miles' school. The lucky kid was still in his own universe, unlike all the spiders who’d been thrust out of theirs, and no doubt had his own lunch already prepared but Peter knew he would appreciate not being left out - and Gwen always made sure he got the updates from the makeshift Spider-House. 

In the corner of the kitchen, Wade continues to fail at holding back his laughter as Peter stands defeated next to the rest of the lunch bags. Peni and Spider-Ham follow after, jumping up on the counter to grab their bags and thank Peter for looking after the family. Lastly, Noir slowly walks up to him, nods politely, and takes his own paper bag. 

Peter, stunned, blinks over at Wade, who finally breaks out into hysterical laughter. “Not a goddamn word.”

———————————-

They had a semblance of order at the Spider-House. Gwen and Miles taking the first shift after Miles got out from school, so Gwen could spend the evening practicing and Miles wouldn’t get home to late. This was followed by Peni and Ham before dinner, then Peter and Wade (or just Peter if Wade was busy) would take the evening, and lastly Noir at night, after everyone had gone to bed. During the day, the task mostly fell on Peter’s shoulders, though sometimes Ham would join him while the youngsters were at school. But Sunday afternoons had turned into board games and movies and pizza. The crime rate seemed to be lowest then and no one was at school, so they pulled out various games, put on a fun action movie in the background, and ordered far too many pizzas. 

It feels like family night, Peter thinks fondly, nuzzling a little closer into Wade’s side as he watches the kids laugh and joke. Even Noir’s engaged, staring down at his cards and the board as if there was just one thing missing that would mean he’d win the entire game and he was dead set on finding it. 

Wade turns and presses a kiss onto Peter’s temple. “It’s nice to have all the kids together, huh?”

“Not my kids, Wade.”

“Aw is he still bitter about that?” Gwen chimes in, jumping over the back of the couch with another slice of pizza in her hands.

“Don’t jump on the furniture,” Peter chides.

“Sorry Dad,” Gwen says, and Peter thinks her fake apology needs a bit more sarcasm in it. That “dad” felt too sincere.

“You know, my Dad can be a little… overbearing sometimes - I love him, no matter what, but it’s cool to have a chill Dad that doesn’t force me to say ‘I love you’ back all the time,” Miles says, stealing a bite from Gwen’s pizza. 

“Miles, I’m not your Dad,” Peter insists.

“I know. But you gotta admit, you’re kinda like our collective Spider-Dad. And Wade’s the weird dude you’re dating that we’ve all accepted as our eccentric Step-Dad.”

Peni, Gwen and Ham all murmur their agreements. Noir gives an affirmative grunt. 

Peter opens his mouth but closes it when no words would come out. Everyone was against him, or rather… with him but in a way that Peter had no idea how to deal with. “I’m going to patrol.”

“But it’s quiet family time, D-”

“Don’t! No one says the D-word!”

Gwen grins but she starts speaking before Peter can stop her, “Whatever you say Pops.”

Peter groans in frustration as he steps outside, closing the door to all the spiders laughing playfully at him. 

———————————- 

“Oof! Wade!” Peter exclaims, his back hitting the wall hard as Wade pins him in the downstairs hallway. Wade’s lips are on his neck before he can get his bearings and he hisses at the teeth nipping on his collarbone. “Jesus Wade, give a guy some warning before you jump him!”

“Then it’s not exactly jumping him, is it?” Wade purrs, kissing his way up to Peter’s ear.

“I- holy crap, Wade! We have to- come on let’s go to the bedroom.”

Wade shakes his head without moving away, his breath is warm on Peter’s ear when he speaks. “Nah, wanna take you right here.”

“What has- fuck! What has this wall in particular done to make you want to fuck me on it?”

“Looked at me funny,” Wade answers.

“Right sure, that makes total sense.”

Wade rolls their hips together and Peter has to bite his lip to keep from moaning. “Wade, we can’t. Not here. The kids might walk in on us.”

“The kids are at school, on patrol, or out causing trouble.”

“They- shit slow down! They’ve been known to ditch school early for emergencies.”

“Police scanner said nothing was going on, we’re all good baby.”

Peter tilts his head back, trying to get away from Wade’s lips but instead gives him more access to his neck. “

“Dude, come on. Let’s go upstairs.”

“Dude isn’t sexy,” Wade chides.

“Neither is my kids walking in on us!”

The warmth of Wade’s body and the intense press of his lips is gone so fast it almost gives Peter whiplash. “Aha!”

When Peter opens his eyes, Wade is pointing his finger at him like he did when he figured out that Peter had been the murderer in their last game of Clue. “What? Why’d you stop?”

“One,” Wade lists off on his fingers, “you told me to. And two… you finally said ‘my kids’!” 

Peter blinks, confused. “I- what? No. I did not.”

“Want me to screencap that and read it back to you?”

“Do I- what? No Wade I didn’t-”

“Finally, he admits it! They’re your kids, Pete. You said so yourself!”

Peter glares, he knows what he said but he’s not ready to admit that he thinks of these spiders as his new family. That Wade is part of that family. And that somehow he feels responsible for all of them. So instead, he grabs Wade and pins him against the opposite wall. 

“I’m giving you two seconds to get your ass up those stairs.”

“Ew gross dads! Public space!” Miles groans, hands coming up to cover his eyes as he walks in the front door. 

Gwen chuckles next to him and elbows him, “Aw don’t be mean, Pete. They’re worked up. They just need to bone.”

Miles shudders, seemingly disgusted, “Gwen. Those are our dads. Blegh.”

“I’m not your-” Peter starts but he rolls his eyes. “Whatever, go out on patrol and give your dads some space, would you?”

Gwen gives them a two-finger salute and grabs Miles by his backpack to haul him back through the front door. “You got it, Pops!”

“And let the others know not to come back to the house for a bit!”

“So gross!” Miles shouts back but Gwen gives them a thumbs up before closing the door behind them. 

“So does that mean I can call you ‘Daddy’ now?” Wade asks, a sly grin on his face. 

Peter gives him a shove and glares at him, “Don’t you start.”


End file.
